Yeah, you’ll never win the war but you can win the battle.

Yes, I’m good with exclusion of entry. The stupid buggers still constantly gnaw on everything (it is actually a biological mandate for them as their teeth keep growing forever). I’m tired of the hassle so I embark on the occasional purge.

Oh, sweet summer child…they are upstate happily cavorting among the apple orchards.

Frozen zha is inherently shit but my way of making it into food is adding awesome sprinkles…did this last night…

Garlic powder, granulated onion, oregano, fresh-ground white pepper, shakey-cheese (you know what I mean).

Frozen pizza can be kinda-food if you put in some effort.

So here, in the comments, is the wisdom you’re looking for…you actually want toaster strudel. It is a similar vehicle but instead of powdery-dry preserved bread choke you get fluffy, crispy pastry around your filling. Instead of dry frosting you get yummy glaze that you get apply to your specifications.

The downside is that you have to keep it in the freezer until you’re ready to eat - it is not shelf stable like your pasta but it is a superior morning coffee accompaniment.

We call ours “the round-y-round” and it is where all of the condiments and such live - salt, pepper, honey, tabasco, simple syrup (for coffee), etc.